okay my friend showed me this random story generator...and i think its funny what it came up with so i thought i'd scar the rest of you...i mean SHARE...share it with you XD

It all started when our uber geek, Emily, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling really concerned, Emily stroked a banana, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). With fist clenched and teeth gnashed, she realized that her beloved kleenex box was missing! Immediately she called her undeclared soulmate, Merlyn. Emily had known Merlyn for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were enticing ones. Merlyn was unique. She was intelligent though sometimes a little... pestering. Emily called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Merlyn picked up to a very mad Emily. Merlyn calmly assured her that most long-haired sea monkeys cringe before mating, yet long-haired sea monkeys usually scandalously yawn *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Emily. Why was Merlyn trying to distract Emily? Because she had snuck out from Emily's with the kleenex box only eleven days prior. It was a sassy little kleenex box... how could she resist?

It didn't take long before Emily got back to the subject at hand: her kleenex box. Merlyn shuddered. Relunctantly, Merlyn invited her over, assuring her they'd find the kleenex box. Emily grabbed her canoe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Merlyn realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the kleenex box and she had to do it aimlessly. She figured that if Emily took the amphibious vehicle, she had take at least seven minutes before Emily would get there. But if she took the mutant llama? Then Merlyn would be scarcely screwed.

Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Merlyn was interrupted by six stupid pikachus that were lured by her kleenex box. Merlyn shuddered; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling exasperated, she deftly reached for her wolverine and aimlessly slapped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the bush, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the mutant llama rolling up. It was Emily.

----o0o----

As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at McDonald's to pick up a 12-pack of ripened avocados, so she knew she was running late. With a deft leap, Emily was out of the mutant llama and went sassily jaunting toward Merlyn's front door. Meanwhile inside, Merlyn was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the kleenex box into a box of potatos and then slid the box behind her refrigerator. Merlyn was puzzled but at least the kleenex box was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Merlyn indiscriminately purred. With a heroic push, Emily opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some funny-smelling noble genius in a neighborhood-terrorizing crotch rocket,' she lied. 'It's fine,' Merlyn assured her. Emily took a seat alarmingly close to where Merlyn had hidden the kleenex box. Merlyn turned red trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But Emily was distracted. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, Merlyn noticed a oafish look on Emily's face. Emily slowly opened her mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Merlyn felt a stabbing pain in her scalp when Emily asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the kleenex box right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A stupid look started to form on Emily's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet Indonesian devil cats. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Emily nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Merlyn could react, Emily carefully lunged toward the box and opened it. The kleenex box was plainly in view.

Emily stared at Merlyn for what what must've been five minutes. Before anyone could take off their pants, Merlyn groped exotically in Emily's direction, clearly desperate. Emily grabbed the kleenex box and bolted for the door. It was locked. Merlyn let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Emily,' she rebuked. Merlyn always had been a little stupid, so Emily knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Merlyn did something crazy, like... start chucking potatos at her or something. Suddenly inspired by the wise teachings of Confuscious, she gripped her kleenex box tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Merlyn looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Emily. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame seven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Emily. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Merlyn walked over to the window and looked down. Emily was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Emily was struggling to make her way through the magical cornfield behind Merlyn's place. Emily had severely hurt her fingernail during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral pikachus suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the kleenex box. One by one they latched on to Emily. Already weakened from her injury, Emily yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of pikachus running off with her kleenex box.

About five hours later, Emily awoke, her fingernail throbbing. It was dark and Emily did not know where she was. Deep in the uninhabited disease-infested jungle, Emily was alarmingly lost. Absolutely thrilled, she remembered that her kleenex box was taken by the pikachus. But at that point, she was just thankful for her life. That's when, to her horror, a shrunken pikachu emerged from the foxy forest. It was the alpha pikachu. Emily opened her mouth to scream but was cut short when the pikachu sunk its teeth into Emily's kidney. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Emily's lungs, but not before she realized that she was a failure.

Less than five miles away, Merlyn was entombed by anguish over the loss of the kleenex box. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' she cried, as she reached for a sharpened banana. With a hasty thrust, she buried it deeply into her kidney. As the room began to fade to black, she thought about Emily... wishing she had found the courage to tell her that she loved her. But she would die alone that day. All that remained was the kleenex box that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant pikachus, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(

LOLz!!1


*** L337 Story Generator v1.0
*** Written by Derek Clark. Copyright © [link] ~ 2004-2005
*** Forever pwning with earnest.

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